I’m hearing a lot from the guys about how much fuss is being made for mothers on Mother’s Day and when it comes to Father’s day, according to Chris Rock, all we get is the big piece of chicken. The guys complain about how much fathers do and the fact that they didn’t leave, weren’t dead beat dads, kept things going with the family. These guys brought home the bacon. Yet, when its time for appreciation, all they get is the big piece of chicken.

Here’s the thing, guys. If you haven’t found out by now, that’s part of being a father and the man. We’re not supposed to look out for appreciation. We’re not supposed to expect accolades. We’re not expected to be patted on the back. As men, we get stuff done. Being the Man means that when there’s a situation, we get it fixed. When there’s a problem, we deal with it. When the family’s hungry, that’s your problem and you deal with it. When junior needs a pair of shoes, you don’t tell him to go to his mommy for it, that’s your problem and you deal with it. The roof is leaking, you get it fixed. The debt collector is calling, you take the calls (often by just taking the phone and hanging up). Whether the accolades come or not, the problem will remain if you do nothing and you know this.

Women are a different lot. They expect accolades. They’re built that way. Of course if you’re not there, they’ll find a way because they won’t let their kids suffer. One thing to know though, whether they play the role of being a father, they can never be one, just like you can never be a mother. Your role is to provide strength, correction, protection and provision. They are built to nurture, to provide a place of comfort, a place where they can find solace when things are down. You can do some of that but not like a mother can.

Now ladies, a word of encouragement to your man won’t hurt. Telling him that he’s the man in your life does wonders. However, its way more important to show him this by supporting him and being loyal to him. If you want to be his adversary, don’t expect much. If you’re his co-conspirator, you have everything about him. Really he doesn’t want your gifts. Why do you think we don’t complain when you give us a tie. We want you and if we have you we have all we need. We can then tolerate that broad, paisley tie you give us because we don’t see that. We see your beautiful smile, your twinkling eyes, your sweet face and the beautiful hands that are giving us that tie. When we say thank you, baby? we’re not saying thank you for the tie, we’re saying thank you for being you, baby.

So guys, man up. Don’t go complaining about who gets more. Just realize that what happens is because you’re who you are. The man! That’s what we should be working on. We should be working on making sure that our women can look up to us with pride and say, That’s my Man. Our kids can see the strong yet gentle, provider and protector and say, that’s my dad. That’s the greatest father’s day gift there is. Why, because this should be happening everyday.

Happy Father’s Day to all Dads.